Wednesday, December 7, 2011
At least that's what today felt like. ;) In reality, it wasn't like college was closed for the brief dusting of snow we received. However, class are over....and finals have begun. I'm lucky as I have until Friday for my first final-- and reading day started on Tuesday. So both Tuesday and Wednesday and most likely Thursday were comprised of a weird combination of sleep and intense-- or at least the attempt there of-- study. My hardest final, physics, is on Friday and I'm worrieedddd. I would love to have a later post saying how the final really wasn't my worst nightmare in hellish reality and that in fact it went rather well, and I escaped with a B in the class. However, while the teacher did assure me that most likely I would end up with a B in the class, providing I didn't bomb the test, I'm still worried.
After all, I'm supposed to be a Physicist. Are they supposed to be good at Physics? It's just so different from everything that I have ever done. I love it. I love the moments when all the fog flies away and I realize that I can describe the physical world with math. I keep telling myself that's what matters-- that I enjoy it, not that I don't have a natural knack for it.
We watched Water for Elephants last on Monday night. Also, I died my hair red Monday night. Hahaha I may post pictures last. Anyway! The point of this was to say that while watching the movie all I could do was think 'that could have been me'. Not the whole circus act but Robert Patterson's character. The vet. That was almost me. I wanted to be a large animal vet until I was like sixteen. I had it all planned out-- I wanted to work outdoors, I wanted to go from farm to farm, doctoring the cattle, the sheep, the horses, goats, chickens, whatever need help.
And now I'm on my way to become an Astrophysicist and quite possibly an astronaut. Sometimes I wonder if I was really sure when I turned down the idea of being a vet. What I wanted, was really James Heriot's job. He was a farm vet in the 1930s over in England. I told myself that things had changed, that my job would be different. Vets have become crazy specialized since then. I heard the horror stories about how arrogant horse people are. Eventually I fell in love with the heavens and everything changed. I can barely imagined what things would be like if I had kept true to my first dream. I wouldn't be at Hendrix; I think there was one school in Arkansas that had veterinary sciences. I wouldn't be surrounded by the people I am now-- it would be a lot more country folk. It's not like I ever thought that the job would be glamorous so I wouldn't be surprised by the blood mud and guts I would have to deal with.
It's just so weird to think about how everything could be totally different. Normally I don't think about it, but watching the movie, as Robert Patterson's character doctored the horses, it just reminded me.
That could have been me.